Week 2: Rewind

Week 2: Players of the Week

Week 2: C'mon Man

Mike Sims-Walker, Who Dat Nation, 24 points

Week 2: Standings

Week 1: Rewind

Players of the Week

Week 1 C'mon Man:

Arian Foster, Bitchen Chippers 42 pts.

Austin Collie, Weiners, 29 pts.

Week 1 Standings:

Recap: Draft 2010

So draft day came and went and everyone had a real good time and at this point 10 people will give 10 different winners for the league this season.  What will separate the elite from the noobs in the ever growing race to pwnage.  Nobody knows that answer right now but here are a few observations and predictions post draft:

Next player to fall like LT or Shawn Alexander: Maurice Jones-Drew (Purple Drank Party)

Player guaranteed to be a Migraine for the league or possible owner: Percy Harvin  (Lab Ratz)

Strangest pick: New Orleans Defense first off the board (Weiners)

Value Pick if healthy: Ronnie Brown (Big Ben's Brothel)

Quirks of the Draft:  Both Steve Smiths taken back to back and both Pierre's on one team (das Kampfschwein)

Shockers: Michael Turner falling to the second round (Who Dat Nation) and das Kampfschwein taking only Dexter McCluster from Ole Miss

Anyway on to week one!

Rivalries everywhere in Week One!

With draft day on two days away, the rosters haven't even been set.  But rivalries are everywhere in week one.  One team the is the TigerCats who have re-branded in a move that comes early this year.  They are now the Children of the Corn (Obviously another Nebraska reference).

The first rivalry will feature some epic shit talking over the next two weeks or so.  That game features das Kampfschwein vs Big Ben's Brothel.  This rivalry is based at Rivals.com...seriously.  Look for feelings to get hurt over this matchup.

Next up is Brother vs Sister...well baby brother vs sister.  Enough said there.

The most intriguing matchup for the editors here would be the battle for Mississippi supremecy, featuring the Who Dat Nation and the Children of the Corn.  Look for fireworks as Ricky Jackson and Sam Mills try to hunt down Tommie Frazier and Lawrence Phillips.

Looks like Week One will be fun!

RealNFL Classic: 2009 Weiners Final Stats

The Weiners defeated the SpiderManBearPigs 105-90 for their first RealNFL title.

RealNFL Classic: 2008 Lab Ratz Final Stats

The Lab Ratz defeated Schweinsteiger + 10, 92-80 to win the title.

Know Your League: Lab Ratz

Oh no...we didn't forget about you.  The Lab Ratz are managed by Sarah Beecham, winner of two of the last three RealNFL titles.  Sounds impressive right, I am impressed...err...was impressed two years ago.  You see the thing about dynasties is that they end...always.  You know that the Cleveland Browns and Detroit Lions once were powerhouses, now they are battling for the first pick in the draft every year.  So with that enjoy the lowered expectations and pressure.  Take this season to enjoy the process.  The sad thing is that through your research and possibly time machine you have probably unearthed another core group of players that will dominate, but we'll continue talking trash anyway.

Know Your League: Bitchen Chippers

The Bitchen Chippers are managed by Elizabeth...err....Ben...err...Elizaben.  They are back for their second tour in the RealNFL.  With this group look for Tony Romo to come off of the board early.  Hell, they might even find a home for Roy "the Legend" Williams as well...Ben Pyle is a Saints fan.  This doesn't really have anything to do with their team, but thought I would take the time to remind everyone that the Saints are World Champs!!!!  Oh yeah they beat Peyton Manning and the Colts...all hail Tracy Porter...Back to the Chippers.  That is all...Gotta go...

Know Your League: Children of the Corn

The Children of the Corn are managed by Tim Nisley, another debutant in the RealNFL.  Nisley hails from South Mississippi where no doubt his love for all things Nebraska Cornhusker was bred.  His pro team of choice is the Pittsburgh Steelers.  This true bred Southerner is another unknown in the league, but one thing is for sure he will be reminded that the only time Nebraska and Ole Miss played, the Bug Eaters were taken down harshly by the Rebels...see I told you.

Know Your League: Who Dat Nation

The Who Dat Nation is managed by Chris (Cowbell) Young, and is a debutant in the RealNFL.  Young is a relative unknown to the league and will be someone to worry about.  He loves Mississippi State sports which is almost oxymoronic in nature.  He is the only person I have ever heard of playing in a online fantasy football league that doesn't even have the internet, or innerwebs as they call it in Mississippi.  It will be interesting to see how this newcomer adjusts to the rigors of big time fantasy football.

Know Your League: YAC Yetis

The YAC Yetis are managed by Ben (no problems with authority) Kreider, and he is hell bent on bringing Northern Aggression to the RealNFL.  On Sundays you can catch Ben taking his horse and buggy to the one house in Amish country that has a TV to watch his beloved Redskins.  The Vultures of the NFL, they live off of dying flesh...aka...Albert Haynesworth and hope for a return to the glory years of Mark Rypien.  The Yetis are a debutant to the league this year who most certainly be welcomed similarly to any other time Northerners have ventured south.

Know Your League: das Kampfschwein

by: Paris Nevada, special to RealNFL

das Kampfschwein, loosely translated to “Dancing Piglets” in English, are “managed," if you can call it that, by Steve (Little Lady) Willis.  In his fourth season, with his fourth team name, Little Lady makes his fourth attempt to crack the top 7.  Sadly for the fourth time, Little Lady is destined to sashay away without the thrill of a winning season.  He tries hard, talks loudly, but ultimately can’t deliver.

Despite the disappointment year after year (save a fluke run two years ago),  at least Little Lady stays positive and he is absolutely right when he reassures himself over and over that though he may not be cut out to manage a mediocre Fantasy Football team, at least the Saints have pretty uniforms. Keep your chin up Little Lady.

Know Your League: Purple Drank Party

Purple Drank Party is managed by Jeb (the Chaperone) Beecham.  Jeb is also the commish of the RealNFL.  Jeb scours comic books looking for the perfect draft strategy.  He asks the questions that are important for fantasy football like,"If I had the Flash on my roster, would I dominate, or how would my defense look with Wolverine at linebacker."  In the end it doesn't matter and the commish will continue to be the Buffalo Bills of the RealNFL.

Know Your League: Weiners

The Weiners are managed by Ben (Chatty Kathy) Beecham.  This team is the New England Patriots of the RealNFL.  Seriously nobody knows anything about his team.  He doesn't say anything.  He could well be a CIA spook with lack of intel that comes out about his team, and the worst part is he is the defending champion of the still unnamed trophy. (the trophy is still unnamed because someone didn't get their three peat last year.)  If you know anything about this guy let me know.

Know Your League: Big Ben's Brothel

Big Ben's Brothel is managed by Corey (the golf club destroyer) Burton.  Burton entered the RealNFL last season, along with approximately 17 other fantasy football leagues.  He uses the strategy if he signs up for more leagues there is less of a chance that he will finish dead last in all of them.  Burton spends his Sundays rooting for the Falcons...seriously...no I am not lying.  Burton will use the draft strategy of Matty Ice in the 1st and would gladly pick Warrick Dunn if he could...Roddy White for MVP?  Ha Ha Sundays are truly better with this guy in the league.

Know Your League: Dream Killers

The Dream Killers are managed by Becky (Mad Dawg) Willis. She earned the nickname due to her Uber Alpha Female personality. Willis is from the old school of football, grinding and researching until the end. When asked about her draft strategy Willis said, "You guys can do what you want to, I am the franchise on the rise. I have dominated my husband for the last two seasons...That will continue."

Look for Willis to be active in the market picking up all the scraps and beating you with your castaways.

RealNFL back for season four

This will be a must stop this season for hard hitting features about the teams you love. We will find the true human interest stories that make this league the most popular among the Willis and Beecham families. Also we will provide hard hitting stories and ask the question, Did the RealNFL really need to expand into Pennsylvania. We will find out "What the hell is a TigerCat?" And what is with this dude with the German team names.

As for now the draft is only one week away and our RealNFL expert Rocky Commando has this to say," This year you have the established programs in the Lab Ratz, Purple Drink Party, weiners and Dream Killers having to deal with the upstarts, YAC Yetis, Big Ben's Brothel, Tiger Cats and Who Dat Nation. If these teams draft well, any one of them could take the league. The darkhorses that will surprise are the LA Levee Patrol and das Kampfschwein. These teams took it on the chin last year and will be in the running to lift the still unnamed trophy (because somebody choked last year in her bid for three in a row)."

Anyway on to the draft.